         |
|
|
The preceding ad helps to support my gracious hosts, Keenspace.
Ask an Elf | Polls/Contest
Post
a Question to the Forum
E-mail a Question
Archive
Round 1
Emiko: So, you've always wondered... just how long do these elves live? Where are they from? Boxers, or briefs? Now's your chance to ask these questions and anything else you can think of to two certifiable experts, Feodor and Orriole! Feodor: Hiyas! Orriole: Hello. Feodor: Let me just say that we are indeed certifiable experts. I have our records right here! ::holds up a stack of papers:: Orriole: Aa, Feodor, those are my immunization records! Feodor: Yes they are! Orriole here is 100% rabies-free! Orriole: May I please have those back? Feodor: Fine, here ya go. ::hand back the papers:: Emiko: You guys ready for some questions? Feodor: You bet. Emiko: Okay, first... What's the typical life expectancy of elves, barring unnatural death? Orriole: A little over 1000 years. It varies, but the average is about 1100 years. Feodor: Of course, it's possible for elves to live longer. Elves whose element is life tend to. Emiko: Feodor sometimes speaks something that looks suspiciously like the 'Symbol' font. Does this represent an elven language? Feodor: That *is* the Symbol font. It has nothing to do with any universal language; I'm a Russian, I think in Russian, and I personally cast my spells in Russian. I ended up with the Symbol font. Em does the best she can. She's only the artist, after all. Orriole: My spells are represented in Runic and Magnus's spells are in Latin. Filia mea made the decision to attempt to show the spells in the language they are thought or as close as she could manage. There is an elven language, but the elven community is so ethnically divided that children are generally taught the language of their parents first and learn Elven as a secondary language. Feodor: Vashti uses Hebrew. I'd like to see Em do that! Emiko: Just you wait, Feodor! Next: Are any of the elves in TBE Tolkien fans? Feodor: Not really. I never finished reading them all. I'm not big on fantasy because it tends to misrepresent things, like dragons and elves and. It's like being a scientist and watching science fiction movies. Orriole: Feodor is referring to the world we come from, not an overall truth to the genre of fantasy. His comments in no way mean that there is any one correct way to represent fantasy. I personally love Tolkien's books. He was a very great man, though I say that more in honor of his linguistic studies than his writing. His classes at Oxford were wonderful. Emiko: Here's a good one! Orriole: I have heard so much about you, but who are you? What are you like? When do we get to meet you and stop Em from hogging all the fun? Feodor: ::snickers:: Orriole: What's so funny? Feodor: Uh, nothing... ::continues snickering:: Well, it's not like anyone's missing out on any fun with you. Orriole: Maa, Feodor. ::sigh:: Well, my name is Orriole, and I'm a Hunter. A Hunter is a person who chases after renegade elves, like Feodor, and captures or kills them for a living. Originally, I was not slated to appear in the story for quite a bit, but when doing the comic, filia mea decided to hasten the events of the story, so I shall be appearing in issue two or three. ... Am I being hogged? Emiko: ... I'll hog you as much as I want, Ori-pa! Feodor: As far as what Orriole's like -- I've known him since I was very young, and he's a very kind and compassionate person. Which does make me wonder WHY HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! Orriole: It's not like that, Feodor! Feodor: Some best friend, eh? Orriole: Fe-o-dor! Emiko: Moving right along, here's our final question for the day. Orriole, are the rumours that you and Feodor were once lovers really true? Orriole: ... Feodor: ... ::starts laughing nervously:: No, of course not! Orriole: ... Feodor: That doesn't count, Orriole. Orriole: ... Feodor: Really, it doesn't. Shakri'pah doesn't count. We're just friends, really. Orriole: ... ::falls over:: Emiko: ... Hoo boy. ~_~ I guess that wraps it up for now! Emiko: Well, somehow we managed to survive that first onslaught of questions, and we're on to round two! Orriole: Maaaaaa, filia mea, do we have to? Feodor: Buck up, Ori, me bud! That can't be any worse than the lovers one! ... Can they? Emiko: I'll cut right to the chase. Here's the first question. It's a long one! My, what wonderful and industrious readers we have! Feodor: I thought you were cutting to the chase? Emiko: Erm, yes, of course! The question is: Feodor has obviously got magical powers (the vase thing). What are the extent of his powers? There must be things that he can and can't do. Like for example, would the faeries to be introduced be more powerful, less, about equal, or would there be no real way to compare the two? Feodor: Wow. That's a doozy. Quite simply, my magic is extremely limited. ... Uh... Orriole: Perhaps it would be better to start with elemental associations. Emiko: Uh oh. Orriole: Every human, elf, and fairy has an elemental association. There are over a dozen elements, and each involves the ability to use magic within a certain sphere. Magnus's element is fire, so he has the ability to control fire, create fire-based attacks, and is immune to burns. Each element also has other elements which are associated with it. Fire, since I am using it as an example, is associated with light. Light is associated with life, wood, and fire. All elements are connected. A person whose element is fire can easily learn light magic, and possibly spells from other spheres as well. Feodor's element is wind, which is a special case because it is known as the transitive element. Those who are of the wind element tend to pick up other elements. Filia mea is also of this element. Feodor: More simply put, I think, wind-associated people can easily learn to appreciate and use other elements. Orriole: Aa. Wind is called the "transitive" element because of this. Feodor: It's got its drawbacks. I can easily learn, say, fire, light, and cold attacks, but wind attacks themselves are not particularly powerful. Every mage has his or her own spells. Personally, I can make strong gusts of wind -- enough to knock opponents off their feet -- and I know mending spells to fix broken things. I also use "mesta," which is a brief speed burst spell. My mending spell is "li krost set ortem," which was actually one I learned from Orriole. Ah, let me think... Orriole: The types of spell a person uses is a combination of their element, which determines what spheres they can access, and their personality, which determines what spells they wish to learn. Feodor has focused more on offensive and combat spells, while my specialties are defensive and healing. Feodor: Magnus is almost completely offensive, and he's a real annoyance to fight. He can't compare with my speed and agility, but the sheer power of his offensive makes him a tough opponent. Not to mention the kid's got gravity magic. Orriole: We have probably not made the best of teachers on this subject, but hopefully we will get more specific questions on this subject in the future to answer, and perhaps then we shall be able to better explain ourselves. Emiko: Oh, almost forgot, the fairies? Feodor: Fairies! I was wondering when we'd get a question about them! Fairies are much, much weaker than elves, though they can still use magic. It really is almost incomparable. of course, some fairies are stronger than others. Orriole: My Pinkerton is quite magically adept, which is rare in a fairy. Feodor: Fairies tend to be used more for their innate ability to sense magic and track other elves. Incomparable. Emiko: Very nice. Now: Are there different type of elves if so what are the differences? This is a question I really like. Do your best, guys! Orriole: Unlike the manner by which elves are normally represented in fantasy, modern elves, at least for the purposes of our tale, are divided much as modern humans are: ethnicity. Feodor: In fantasy you see things like high, drow, and dark elves. Orriole and I have blonde hair, but this doesn't make us "high" or special elves in any way. Orriole: Considering blonde elves as a sort of superior type is proscribing to the psychology of such historical figures as Hitler, though admittedly all elves have the tendency to think like this, just as humans do. It is national pride. Americans in particular have a superiority complex because of their role as a policing factor in world politics. I believe every country has this. The Chinese seem to also have a strong sense of national pride at this moment in time, so much so that I do not think a person in China could access this on the Internet. It is understandable, for all countries have moments of glory and pride in their history, and these are things which we should never forget. We all enjoy reveling in the greatness of our own countries as a source of fuel for our own egos. Feodor: Of course, no country can compare with the greatness of Russia. Our country is by far the largest and greatest on the planet! Orriole: Feodor is a case in point. Elves tend to associate themselves very strongly with their Earth countries, so while Feodor was born in the elven world, he considers himself to be a Russian. The elven world is much like a mirror of the human with smaller countries. These countries are sometimes not reflected by modern maps, as with Roman elves like Magnus and myself. Rome, after all, no longer exists as an empire. Feodor: Of course, Russia is the greatest. Orriole: Magnus would easily argue that Rome is. Feodor: Russia. Orriole: I'm not arguing with you Feodor... I respect national pride. Might I point out Du Maorong would claim China is the greatest, Kiprilla would argue for France, and Vashti would claim Israel is-- Feodor: Russia is the greatest. Period. No doubt about it. Russia. Orriole: In conclusion, there are many different denominations of elves. Almost like the ethnic neighborhoods -- Chinatown, Little Italy, Little Havana -- of large American cities. Feodor: Elves also vary in physical appearance more than the sample represented here. Most of the elves in this story are European, if only because the particular city I last stole from was European. There are a number of denominations not represented, most notable African. Orriole: Keeping in mind that elven ethnic divisions tend to be anywhere from two hundred to two thousand years off the historical progression of Earth. The elven world is not as connected as the human and despite its smaller size is more isolated. Feodor: No Internet there, not TV. No wonder most of us like Earth better. Emiko: Heh, well, nicely done, guys. I think. On to the next! Last one, since this time our answers have been... rather lengthy? Anyway: What is shakri'pah? Feodor: ... Orriole: This is from Jazriot again, isn't it!?? ::covers head:: Feodor: Shakri'pah is... an elven ritual of entrance into adulthood. Orriole: No, don't you say anything else at all Feodor! Feodor: What? It's only shakri'pah, Oreo. Orriole: Please? Feodor: Okay, Em, why don't you go take Orriole to have some tea while I handle this. Emiko: Sure thing. ::exeunt:: Feodor: Well, now that the children are gone, shakri'pah is simple an ancient ritual passed on through the generations involving the entrance of young elves into adulthood. It's purely ceremonial, but you can consider that it is the equivalent of a high school health course. Er, hands-on. Orriole doesn't like to mention it, since he's old-fashioned, but there really is no taboo about this among elves. It's performed between members of the same gender and has nothing to do with romance or love, though generally speaking it is a service between friends. There are actually masters of shakri'pah who command a great deal of respect and money for their services, though it's almost a disreputable occupation. Orriole was my shakri'pah, back when I was a mere 75. I sincerely hope that's enough for you, Jaz, 'cause that's about all Em'll let me say. Emiko: So it would very much fit a shounen ai doujinshi... ::snickers:: Feodor: Orriole's actually very goo-- Emiko: That wraps it up! Feodor: But I'm not done. Emiko: I think there are parts of his life Orriole would prefer not be broadcast over the Internet. Feodor: Then what are you doing? Emiko: ::sticks tongue out:: I'm just making a comic, not talking about Ori-pa's-- Oh, whoops! You almost got me, Fey. ... We're never going to get Orriole to come back in here for more questions, are we? Feodor: Just let me deal with him. Hell, I've been dealing with his emotional foul-ups for 175 years now... ::pauses to think a moment:: That's all for now, folks. Come back next Monday! Or before that, if we get a lot more questions. Emiko: If we haven't completely scared you away by now. ~_~; Then again, you guys ask the questions! We just answer! Emiko: Yep, we're back. Feodor: By popular demand. Orriole: ... I hate you both for dragging me into this. Feodor: Eh heh... Emiko: Maaaa, Ori-pa... I'm sowwy! ;_; Orriole: ::sigh:: I could never stay mad at you for very long filia mea, I just wish you wouldn't do such things. Feodor, on the other hand... ::growls:: Feodor: Geez, Orriole. Let's just go on to the first question. Emiko: Okay. Meefles! It was said that elves identify with a country/ethnicity, but it was also said that the elven world is slightly behind ours. So exactly how far behind is it? Is it just technology-wise or is it also social/political-wise? (i.e. Are the elven world equivalents of the US and Former Soviet Union still fighting the Cold War?) Which also lead me to ask: is their history parallel to ours or is it total different? Feodor: History. I like geography better. All yours, Ori! Orriole: Though I don't know why I let you guys drag me into this... Emiko: Because I'm cute and adorable and you love me? ::puppy dog eyes:: Feodor: ... Just answer the question. Orriole: Aa. By saying the elven world is slightly behind Earth, I mean that elves often associate with long-dead cultures, such as the ancient Egyptian and Roman empires, which no longer exist. Since elves live longer than humans, our own social and political, ah, how to put it... Feodor, "fa'ermen?" Feodor: Timelines? Umm... cultural sense of time? I don't think that word translates well into English. Orriole: I think cultural sense of time is close enough. It is much like how parents are removed from their children because they were born in the past and identify with it. Now think about how long elves live and you'll see why our cultural sense of time is behind that of the human world. A lot of children identify with their parents, which is why the Roman Empire still exists in the elven world even though there are no living elves who were involved in it. Sometimes cultural bonds with the past, our history and customs, are stronger than progress. Feodor: Now let me take the technological aspect. Elves are terribly slow to adopt most of the human conventions, like electricity, computer, television, video games, because who wants to build power plants and operate them? There are spells that can be like TV, but who wants to dedicate their life to doing that? I mean, sheesh! How utterly boring! Orriole: Feodor is right. Elves do tend to have a superiority complex when it comes to work. They prefer not to do it. Feodor: ... Now who's being mean!? Orriole: It is simply that with such long lives as ours, we prefer to spend our time learning new things, not on menial labor. Elves consider themselves to be an "enlightened" species of sorts. It is like asking a college graduate -- a doctor, let us say -- to clean toilets for a living. Feodor: You sound as if you're somehow not like the rest of the elf community. Orriole: Ehh... Feodor: Elves only bother to do what they want, and since we've got the resources to never do actual chores, we don't bother. There was actually a plan once to take a bunch of humans and have them run power plants and stuff, but the majority of the elf community didn't seen to like the idea of sharing our world with humans, and there were the humane concerns, like how taking humans from their families was wrong and stuff, and then the dragons dared the elves to do it so they could eat the humans... Orriole: ::giggles:: Hee, yes, I remember that! Kilsennan burst into the Elven Council and demanded humans to eat, so naturally the Council declined... Hahahah! Feodor: And we still have more of this question to answer! Time-wise, time passes at the same speed in the elven world and the human. The elven world just seems stuck in the past. Course, any elf who wants a TV and electric lights can live in the human world. A bunch do. But like Orriole said, cultural junk is stronger than progress. Orriole: Eh, there is the historical aspect of this... The additional historical aspect... Time passes the same, but the elven world has its own history which is very distinct from that of the human world and often has nothing to do with it. Feodor: There was that time to self-proclaimed "American" elves stormed the Council and demanded all the British elves give up their cities... Orriole: The American elves! ::nearly dies laughing:: Feodor: Yeah, that was great! I was just a kid back then, but I helped out on the American side on Earth. Most elves think it's wrong to mix human politics with elf, so while occasionally Earth wars will result in tension between factions on the elven world, they generally don't cause actual fighting. That's part of the reason I love Earth so much. The elven world is really boring. Hey, how'd you like to hear about World War II? Emiko: Maybe another time. Cold war? Feodor: Oh yah, that. I personally didn't see any of that on the Elven world, since I was on Earth stealing secrets for the Russians... Emiko: ... FEODOR! Feodor: Whaaat? What do you think I do when Russia needs me? I respond! Even when it is the USSR, a homeland is a homeland... Orriole: Which is a little odd since you weren't born in Russia... Feodor: Tch. I didn't do anything too major, honest. ::hides weapons plans behind his back:: Emiko: >_<; Let's move on before you get the FBI breathing down my neck, you ruffian. Do you realize how much time you guys just spent on that question? Feodor: It was a long one! Emiko: Hmph. Anyway: What is a rogue elf? Feodor: Easy. An elf on the opposite side of the elven law. Er, wrong side? Orriole: Any elf who perpetrates certain crimes must be arrested and sentenced to punishment. These include murder of any human, elf, or otherwise intelligent creature outside of declared war, fraud, and thievery. Sentencing is always fair and only in the most extreme cases have elves been given a lifetime sentence, yet some elves simply do not wish to be imprisoned or punished, and run, often for Earth. These are "rogue" elves. Feodor: Lifetime sentencing is pretty rare for elves, since we live so long and that'd be really unfair since elves believe in turning things around and stuff, but I'm pretty sure I'd get the life sentence for what I did, and join the other dozen or so criminals in that bracket. That'd almost be an honor to a criminal elf, but I'd rather not get caught and go down in infamy for that. Emiko: Well, thanks for being shorter with that one. Next: Is the element which governs which type of magic an elf learns one which he himself chooses, or is it inherited from the parents or prescribed at birth? Like if mommy and daddy study water, would the young elf study that as well because he has to, or only if he wanted to? Feodor: Fun! Orriole: Elements are something all people, elves and humans alike, are born with, though for humans it often takes longer to discover what their element is. Elves have a spell which can divine a baby's element at birth in most cases, though there have been a few where this has not worked. Feodor: There actually is a link between parents and offspring that can be observed by the desert tribes of elves, whose elements tend to be restricted to sand, water, and fire. Often a child's element will follow that of the parent, but not always. Orriole: Magnus, for example; his father's element was darkness and his mother's was life, yet he possesses fire. My mother ... My mother was wood and my father was gravity... Feodor: ... Is something wrong, Ori? Orriole: Ah, it's nothing. Feodor, how about you? Feodor: My mom's a wind, and my pa's a cold. Wind and cold are common among Russian elves. Darkness is common among Romans. Orriole: It is possible for certain elves, such as the "transitive" wind elf, to learn more spells from other elemental spheres than others, so it must be said that there are restrictions as to what an elf of a given element can learn, though no set rules, since it depends on the individual elf. It would be a rare event indeed for a fire elf to learn cold, or light to learn darkness, since these are elemental opposites. Every person also has a set of sub-elements as well, and can learn some things from these areas as well. Feodor: Since wind's transitive, I've got pretty much everything as my sub-element. Let's continue using Magnus as our example -- the little bugger'd hate that. He has a particularly strong affiliated with his sub-element of gravity. I could learn gravity, too, I just haven't had the time. Been a little busy with the fighting and the fleeing, y'know. Orriole: I think that we can choose our sub-elements subconsciously, or that in some way fate chooses them for us, because an elf will always know the spells he or she needs. Emiko: I hope that's a suitable answer. Well, that's really quite enough for now. See ya next time! Emiko: It's amazing! People aren't mortally offended by us yet!Feodor: Or they're not telling us. Emiko: Um, yeah, I suppose that's a possibility, too... but we're getting new questions! Orriole: Maaaa, just give me the first one for today... Feodor: Ori doesn't seem very happy... Well, I know how to fix that! ::tickles Orriole:: Orriole: Ahh! Hahaha! Feodor, stoppit! Heeheehee! Emiko: Okay, now that's we've officially brightened Orriole's day, let's get on with it! Numero uno: Have there been any cases of humans becoming elves (or vice versa), by magic, genetic graft, or any other means? Orriole: No. Feodor: Nope. You really have to be born an elf to be an elf. There's no spell that can make you one, and while the genetic graft is an idea, by that same logic there could be half-human, half-cats... Orriole: Ah, Feodor... Feodor: I mean on Earth, Orriole. I don't think either of us know enough about genetics to give this one a good answer. And I've never heard of elves becoming humans. That'd be... just weird. Orriole: Before you were born, elves who had not mastered certain magical abilities would sometimes, ah, cut off their own ears if they desired to be amongst humans so strongly-- Feodor: YUCK! That's disgusting! Sick! ::gags:: Ewww! Emiko: ... Next! Have there been any cases of humans and elves mating, or is this another phenomenon strictly found in D&D? Orriole: Yes. It is completely possible for humans and elves to interbreed and there have been numerous cases of such an event throughout elven history. Feodor: D&D! Now that's one fantasy thing I do like. Emiko: Wow, you guys are on-topic today. Thirdly: I've noticed that while the ears on elves commonly terminate in a tapered point, the ear-to-head angle is typically different between those in anime/manga and those in Western art. (e.g., ElfQuest elves typically have the ears pointing up, while Deedlit's ears (Lodoss War) point out along her shoulders.) Feodor, Orriole, from your points of view, is the determining factor here genetic or the artist's conception? Feodor: Um... I'd have to say both. ElfQuest is, of course, the product of ... Two people, right? Emiko: Wendy and Richard Pini! MY HEROES!! Feodor: And this coming from a girl who only just read ElfQuest for the first time last week... Back to what I was saying. ElfQuest elves also only have four fingers, so they're clearly not anything related to elves such as Orriole and myself-- Emiko: I LOVE SKYWISE! Feodor: ... Orriole, will you please control that thing? Orriole: Shh, filia mea, it is rude to interrupt. Emiko: ... Phooey. Feodor: ANYWAY. The determining factor is at least genetic, since ears follow the jaw line. Or at least they're suppose to. Orriole's ears are more like Deedlit's because he has a round face. In fact, he can do a nifty trick with them! Do your trick, Ori! Orriole: No. Feodor: C'mon. Orriole: This is typed; nobody will be able to see it anyway. Feodor: It's only typed tot he reader... Well, Orriole can make his ears droop. Most elves can make their ears twitch, but the droop thing I've only seen Orriole do. I can make my ears twitch up a bit, but not droop! Orriole: ... Do I get to give my point of view? ... It really is something akin to artist's conception because the artist determines what kind of elf they are drawing. Our kind have ears that follow the jaw. Feodor: Of course, we're the only true kind-- Orriole: Feodor! Be quiet! Feodor: Eep! Yessir! Orriole: From our consideration, and not that of an artist, it is genetic. Emiko: Can I talk now? Orriole: You may. Emiko: Yaaay! I love Skywise! ElfQuest forever! I think Skywise is just like my Maru and Lord Voll is like Orriole... Like Orriole very much! Feodor: ::groans:: When we give you permission to talk, it's to give us the next question! Emiko: ... You're mean! Fine! Here's the next question! Orriole, are you older than Feodor? I mean, you look younger but ... help me out here, cutie. ^_^ Orriole: Yes, I am older than Feodor. ... Feodor: You're considering forgiving Jazriot for the previous questions you didn't like, aren't you? Orriole: Aa. She was only curious. Curiosity is something to be praised, not punished. Feodor: Ha! ... How old are you anyway, Ori? You we're fully grown when I was still a kid. Emiko: And that's all the time we have for today! Say goodnight, everyone! Feodor: Okay, you've got to be kidding me... Can't I ask questions? Emiko: ... Feodor: How old are you anyway, Orriole? Orriole: Ah... Emiko: Bye everyone! ::shoves the elves out of the room:: Stay tuned for next time! Emiko: Welcome back to Ask an Elf, the place where you, the reader, can ask our resident elven experts anything! So far, there have been lots of great questions about elves and quite a few more personal ones, but they've all been great fun! Orriole: ::mumbles something about that sounding very rehearsed:: Emiko: Let's get it on! Question one: Why did Feodor claim he was an exchange from the Philippines? ... Hi, Geejay! ^___^ Feodor: The reason isn't really anything great, but it's easily explainable. Back when Emiko was working out this part of the story, they were learning how to say different nationalities in Japanese class, and she really loved "firipinjin." Emiko: How can you not love it? Firipinjin! Feodor: So it was one of the few things in TBE that was actually her idea. Emiko: Firipinjin! ^_____^ Orriole: Filia mea... Emiko: Whoops, sorry! Question two. In the Elven world, are there the equivalents of what we would call Wood Nymphs or Dryads? Orriole: Yes. There are many spirits there who once inhabited Earth; it was created as a refuge for many of the creatures which have since disappeared from Earth. Nymphs and dryads are but two of the residents. Feodor: Nymphs don't wear clothing. Emiko: ... Feodor: Well, they don't, and if they don't want to, more power to them! Emiko: ::groans:: Next: What happens during an Elven Wedding Ceremony? Feodor: You know, coincidentally, I used to be a wedding planner. Depending on what the elves being married want, this can vary greatly, so I'll just tell you about-- Emiko: No spoilers! Feodor: About traditional weddings, Em! What did you think I was going to say? Emiko: ... Erm, nevermind. Feodor: Back to what I was saying, a traditional wedding has the same basic parts as an Earth wedding. There's a ceremony attended by family and friends and a banquet. Ceremonies are performed in elaborate cathedrals woven from the roots of the Tree of Life, which are in most major cities. These cathedrals are actually open-air, but there's some clever spell casting that prevents winds from interfering. The marriage is performed by an Elder of the Council -- usually it's the Elder from that city, but sometimes it's not. Costume-wise, elves generally don't wear white, they wear their personal color or elemental color. The traditional costume is an embroidered tunic with sash and pants. Sometimes they're more complex, with vests and capes and ha-skirts. A lot of the costuming depends on the local culture as well, such as turbans and certain types of hat. Occupation can make a difference. Full-time mages tend to stick with long robes. A lot of women wear full-length dresses, heavily decorated, but not nearly as important as human weddings because most elven weddings aren't for life. There are often a lot of flowers and incense and perfumes... Actually, desert elves don't use the Tree of Life structures; they have their own special ceremony. There's often a lot of entertainment at weddings, usually just normal performers, but sand dancers have been known to appear for those who have the right connections. Orriole: If you are a Dragon Master, there are additional formalities involved. Feodor: But of course. Dragon Masters ride in on their special dragon or whatever, but there are only a handful of Dragon Masters, so I've never actually done a wedding involving one. Council members get special ceremonies, too. I guess financial or power circumstances play into it a bit, but since there's not a real elven economy... Emiko: ::yawns:: Feodor: Sorry to bore you, oh great Empress of the Unknown Universe... Em: Oh, get on with it, you sarcastic pig! Feodor: ::snickers:: Well, as you can tell, there are a lot of things that go on at elven weddings, but it's good enough to say they're a lot like what would happen at a normal wedding if humans could do magic and lived in a "fantasy" world. Of course, sometimes you get a really GREAT wedding with a whole week of festivities. Man, oh man, are those good. Emiko: Regardless of whether or not Feodor thinks he's finished, let's move along. I think we've given that question enough attention. It's a new one from Jazriot-- Orriole: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Emiko: I swear, Orriole, this one is COMPLETELY harmless. Orriole: ::grabs onto Feodor's arm:: No! It is not! She'll turn it into something bad, I just know it! Feodor: ... I can't feel my hand, Orriole. Orriole: Uh, sorry, Feodor. ::loosens his grip:: Emiko: I promise, it's harmless! What does filia mea mean? Orriole: ... Are you sure you want her to know that? Emiko: Are you kidding? I've been waiting weeks for someone to ask that! Surely all our visitors aren't fluent in Latin, so they much be wondering! Orriole: ... I don't trust her. Emiko: Aw, c'mon, Ori-pa! Orriole: Fine, but this is the last time I'm forgiving her. "Filia mea" is Latin. It is how I address Emi. It means "my daughter." Em: It's sort of a pun. ^^ A pun on Orriole and my's relationship. Ne, Ori-pa? Orriole: Hai, filia mea. It is a pun on many things. ::smiles:: Feodor: ... Why am I not in on this? Emiko: Well, that's enough for now! Catch you next time! And don't forget, no question is too silly! Orriole: The only bad question is the one you do not ask. Feodor: You don't even have to ask us about elves. It's be refreshing to get a question on something else. I mean, c'mon, I've got two and a half times as much experience as practically every human in existence! Emiko: Buh-bye for now, everyone! ^^ Emiko: Once again, we welcome you to Ask an Elf! Ask us anything! Orriole: Please, no more questions about my private life! Feodor: Don't bother with Orriole. My life is a heckuva lot more interesting, anyway. Emiko: Yeesh, egomaniac. First question -- this one has special meaning, since it's from Kern, whose webcomic involves drow elves! And it's a question for you, Fey. (I hope I get this right, Kern.) Would Em be happy if you got a sadistic, dominating dark elf girlfriend? Feodor: Who cares what Em thinks? This elven chica sounds hot. When do I get to meet her? Emiko: To summarize: I couldn't care less if Feodor bags the French Baguette or anyone else. ::glares menacingly about:: Next one is for Orriole. Are there any dark or drow elves in your world? Orriole: Not to my knowledge. There are African elves who have dark skin, and elves whose element is darkness, but I have never seen anything like a drow or dark elf. Emiko: We're plowing through them today, aren't we? Question three: Have either of you ever read anything by L. Frank Baum? Orriole: Aa. I very much enjoy his stories. I have read them all. Feodor: Nope, sorry. I'm not much in to kiddie books. Orriole: If you would read them, you might like them, Feodor. Feodor: What do you think television is for? Emiko: ::groans:: Anyway, next question! Who has been your favorite historical figure since you've been alive? Orriole: Ger-- Emiko: Plot! Orriole: Oh, yes, sorry, I had forgotten. I will say Benjamin Franklin, then. Feodor: Bor-ing. Josef Stalin is mine. "One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic!" Orriole: Feodor! Feodor: Well, what did you expect me to say? Gandhi? The Dalai Lama? Orriole: I would not expect you to choose such a murderer! Feodor: Fine, Orriole, just for you I'm changing my answer to... ahh... Yuri Gagarin! Eat that, America! Emiko: I like Gagarin, but I don't feel like getting into an argument over Gagarin vs. Lovell, Haise, and Mattingly. I'm not sure I could decide on that myself. Feodor: Of course, Gagarin's the best-- Emiko: Yes, yes, we know, Feodor. Final question! Why do elves have fairies? Are they guardians or something? Feodor: There are a few reasons why elves have fairies. First, fairies act like the telephone and news service of the elven world. Having one is like owning a phone. I assume everyone able to access our site has a phone. It's a necessity, isn't it? Second, elves and fairies have a sort of dependency upon one another. An elf without a fairy is a sad elf indeed. Orriole: Aa. It is almost inexplicable, but elves are born with a psychological dependency on fairies that manifests at about the age of fifteen. Fairies are even more dependant, requiring their respective elves for the entirety of their lives. Both elves and fairies are able to exist apart from each other, but generally not for more than a month at a time. Feodor: Yeah. After that depression sets in, which isn't fun for elf or fairy. Orriole: Of course, once every so often an elf is born without this dependency, though it is rare indeed. Feodor: My guess is the interaction of fairy/elf magic has to do with chemicals. Emiko: Okay, then, that wraps it up! Thanks for your questions! Stay tuned for your next installment of Ask an Elf! Emiko: Last time was so short. Hopefully this one will be longer. Wait, is longer a good thing or a bad thing? Orriole: I think it very much depends on the reason why it is longer and what the audience would consider a good thing and a bad thing. Feodor: Wider is better! Emiko: ... Anyway, first question. Who's that pretty fairie? Feodor: I'll assume you mean Talia. Talia! Talia: Yes, Master Feodor? Feodor: Tell these good people a bit about yourself. Talia: Neeee, Master Feodor, what should I say? Feodor: Um, just say whatever you feel like saying. Talia: Okay! I'm Talia! I'm two hands and two toes old! Emiko: ::groan:: Talia: I love cake and ice cream and cherries. I try to stay with Master Feodor everywhere he goes, but sometimes I get a little lost, which makes me very sad, because I don't like being separated from Master Feodor's side, but if I am, there is always a good reason for it, and I know I'll always be able to find him again soon enough! Before Master Feodor had me, he had a fairy named Olaf. I did not know Mr. Olaf, but he sure has a funny-sounding name! My favorite colors are green and purple, just like my hair and eyes and wings! I loooove Pinkerton; he so very tall and really cool! He even wears clothes, which I have never seen any fairy do before! I wish Mr. Pinkerton would pay more attention to me, but he is very cold, which also makes him cool, am I right? And I think it'd be even cooler if Mr. Pinkerton were to wear glasses! Not the clear kind, the kind with the colored shades, like maybe pink like his hair and his eyes! His eyes are so very pretty... Maybe it would be a bad thing to cover up his eyes? I love Mr. Pinkerton, he looks just like a piece of candy! Like pink cotton candy! I love cotton candy, too. One time Master Feodor took me to the circus and I got to see the elephants -- they were really, really, REALLY big -- and the clowns and the horses that danced around the big circle with ballerinas on their backs! I think the ballerinas were sort of like Mr. Pinkerton because they were dressed in pink and were tall and very cool! Master Feodor took me to meet all the people after the circus, and it turned out a bunch of the performers were elves who were friends of Master Feodor and I got to sit and talk with their fairies and with them and we had hot cocoa! It was very cold outside that day... Feodor: I think that's enough, Talia. Talia: Oooh, Master Feodor, can I stay around and help answer more questions? Feodor: Uh-- Orriole: But of course you may, my dear Talia. Talia: Oooooh, thank you, Mr. Oreo! Emiko: ::groan:: Talia: So let's get a new question! Emiko: ::groan:: Question number two. Are those little sparkles floating about her magical energy or faerie dust? (If it's the latter, is faerie dust narcotic?) Feodor: They were just a graphic element added by our guest col-- Talia: Oooh, it is a question about fairies again! I have never seen a fairy dust. Is it very big? Feodor: As I was saying, that was just a nice little thing the guest colorist, Bunny, added. Talia: What is a nar... narkle tic? Orriole: Do not worry your pretty little head about that, Talia. The answer is no. Talia: Okay Mr. Oreo! Emiko: Question three. What is the extent of fae magic? Feodor: It depends on the fairies, but most can-- Talia: There are some very great and powerful fairy magicians and some very weak ones, but we can all sense magic! That's what makes us special! And we can fly, too. Mr. Pinkerton is a very powerful magician, like a great wizard! There is a special word for a magician, a mag? Because magicians only do tricks but the real kind use real magic. Mr. Pinkerton can do all sorts of great spells, but none are even close to Master Feodor's magician powers! Orriole: The word you are searching for is "mage." Talia: Yes, mage! Most fairies can only do a little magic, and are not mage, because mage can do a lot of magic. Like me! I can only do a little magic, so I am not a mage. I can sense other fairies and elves when they are using magic -- even little magic! -- and I'm special because I can tell fairies and people apart from how their magic smells! Not all fairies can do that. But they can all sense magic. And fly. All fairies can fly! Most fairies can do little pieces of magic, because we are not strong and cannot easily lift things ourselves, and so we learn a little spell that makes things a little bit lighter and then we can carry messages on parchment and paper for our masters, like mail ponies! Feodor: Are you done? Talia: Oh, no, for I have many more tales to tell about fairies who can do magic! Orriole: Perhaps you may tell them to me later, little one? Talia: Okay! Orriole: As little Talia has said, all fairies can do a small amount of magic, but only a few can do more. Generally older fairies know more magic than young ones like Talia. Most fairy spells are not as strong as even the weakest elven spells. If I were to make a scale of magic from one to ten, humans would be ones, fairies would be threes or fours, and elves would be nines or tens. This would be an exponential scale, though. Emiko: Wonderful. Great. Can we move on? Next question. I came across an interesting tidbit of Celtic mythology regarding the "wyld hunt," where the court of the fae would ride and recruit humans to join them, effectively becoming fae themselves. (An offshoot of the "changeling" myth, except the objective mortals aren't infants, and the hunt occurs at certain times of year.) Maybe it's something to consider with the "humans becoming elves" thing... Can you either confirm or debunk this? Orriole: That is a very old piece of mythology, yet it does have some historical grounding. There were humans who were recruited by the elves and inhabit the elven world, but they do not become elves themselves. It is of note that humans who live in the elven world for long periods of time or who are born there have been known to acquire small amounts of magic, which can be seen as "becoming fae" in a sense. There was also a period of elven history when it was considered very desirable to steal human children as slaves, but that is something I would prefer not to talk about, as it is not a proud moment in time for the elves, and the practice is regrettably still present, albeit in small numbers, today. Emiko: Yipes. Orriole: It is, of course, no longer considered socially acceptable to the vast majority of elves, but there are always throwbacks. Emiko: Okay, moving right along... This question may seem a bit odd, but you keep saying things like "children are generally taught the language of their parents first" and the like, so I'm confused. Are the elves' parents human? Orriole: Ah, your confusion over that is understandable. No, elves are not descended from humans in any way. The languages of Earth have simply been passed along from generation to generation, ever since the time of the Crossing. Human languages are older than what is known as "Elven." Emiko: Well, there's another question, but since it's become traditional to make five the max, I'll leave it for next time. We have to have something to work on, you know? Talia: That is all for now! Bye-bye nice people! Be sure to ask us more questions! Emiko: We are sooo not inviting the fairy in again. Orriole: Filia mea! Emiko: Gimme a break! Feodor: Why don't you go find Pinkerton, Talia? Talia: Okay! Bye-bye! Emiko: And a relieved farewell from the rest of us. Orriole: Maa, filia mea... Emiko: This must be a new record for backlogged questions this week... so let's just get the first five and be done with it. Sort of on topic, you were also talking of cross-breeds. Will we meet any? And what are their traits? Orriole: Ah, half-elves. Feodor: I guess that question refers to half-human half-elves, because there are also other crossbreeds to take into account that are half-elven... Orriole: Let us keep this simple, Feodor. There are a few types of half-elves, but for our general purpose, we shall assume that you are referring to the aforementioned half-human, half-elves. They look much like normal elves, with slightly shorter ears, and are capable of doing magic. They are as widely varied in appearance as normal elves and humans. Feodor: And on the subject of other half-creatures, let's get Hirschel Kirsch! Hirschel! Emiko: NO! Feodor, don't! Are you crazy? Hirschel: Good evening. Emiko: ::dives behind Orriole:: Save me Ori-pa! Orriole: Ah, filia mea... Hirschel: ... What? Is there something in my teeth? ::picks at his fangs:: Orriole: It's okay, Emi. He's out of character. Emiko: ... Really? Oh, good then. ... Is it okay if I stay behind you, Ori-pa? Orriole: ::sigh:: Fine, filia mea. Feodor: Hirschel, buddy, pal, we're discussing half-elves like yourself. Tell us about your perspective. Hirschel: I must point out we are not "buddies" in any respect of the word. Feodor: Just answer the damn question. Hirschel: Very well. I am what is called a vampiric elf. A rare combination under any circumstance. My mother was half-elf, half-vampire, so I am only quarter vampire, but the trait is dominant. Vampiric elves are capable of biting blood, but do not have to in the way that full vampires do. Orriole: Perhaps you could explain why there are not more vampiric elves? Hirschel: That is depressingly simple. Not many people like vampires, and vampires are very rare. The fangs are unnerving. Emiko: You're telling me. Feodor: Why don't you stick around and answer a few more of these with us, Hirsch! Hirschel: That is "Hirschel," not "Hirsch." Feodor: ... As if I care. Next question, Em! Emiko: Grr... I hate my job... Question two. How long does a fairy live? Orriole: It is too bad that Talia is not here, is it not? Emiko: That is one presence I can really live without. Orriole: Filia mea! Hirschel: Fairies live anywhere from fifty to sixty years. Emiko: Maybe we can invite Pinkerton? Next time, perhaps. Question three! Who names fairies, do they have parents which take care of them and name them, or do their respective elves name them? Orriole: Fairies are born with knowledge of their name. They do not have parents. Emiko: Short-- Hirschel: --and succulent. Emiko: Eep! Orriole: Please don't make such jokes, Hirschel. Hirschel: My apologies, Orriole. ::munches on a tomato:: Emiko: You're horrid, Hirschel! ::shudders:: Anyway. Feodor and Orriole seem to get along like a human couple. Other than the shakri'pah, have they ever...? I mean, Feodor drooled over that elven chica, but that smacked of overcompensation. Orriole: No! Hirschel: ::starts to laugh:: Feodor: What, she sounded hot! Orriole: No, never, no! And I will NOT tolerate any more such questions! I refuse to repeat myself on the matter. Feodor: I did not have sexual relations with that woman! ::falls off his chair laughing:: Orriole: FEODOR, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET THIS! Feodor: ::shuts up:: Emiko: Eee, Ori-pa is mad! ::hides behind Hirschel:: Hirschel: Hello, my little dish. Emiko: ... Well, better you than a mad Orriole. Hirschel: ::nips Emiko on the ear:: Emiko: Eeps! ::hides behind Feodor:: I just can't get lucky today, can I? Feodor: You're telling me! Orriole: ::without emotion:: We may continue. Emiko: ... Um, er... This next one has been directed to you, Ori-pa. In your characters, many of them hate math, and none of them seem to like it... is this indicative of something that happens when humans are exposed to the elven world, or is it just because math is a rotten subject that no one would like? Orriole: No. Feodor: Uh, what? Orriole: ... Emiko: I'm gonna go check and see who hates math. Let's see... Machiko, Vashti, Talia. In contrast, while math is not the written favorite of any of the characters with profiles up (yet), Pinkerton likes chemistry, which invovles a great deal of math, and Hidetoshi likes economics. Hirschel: I personally enjoy math a great deal. Emiko: Except your profile isn't up yet. Sorry 'bout that. Orriole: Math and music are irrevocably intertwined. I do not think math is a bad subject at all, and there is certainly nothing about the elven world that makes people dislike math in any way. Feodor: At least you're talking again. Orriole: Forgive my emotional outburst. It was hardly appropriate. Feodor: Heck, Orls, I don't think anyone was blaming you. I don't see how wanting to know more about some hot elven chica is overcompensating, though. She sounded hot! Gimme a break! Emiko: And so we end today's Ask an Elf as it started: everything's okay. Hirschel: I vant to suck your blood! ::lunges at Emiko:: Emiko: EEEEEEEEEK!!!! Hirschel: Ahahaha! Goodnight, everyone. Emiko: It has gotten to the point where I am amazed not at the fact that people are still asking questions, but that any of us are still sane enough to answer them. Feodor: Maybe it's because we're insane that we do this. Orriole: It was a mistake to tell the humans about shakri'pah, Feodor. Do you not see that now? They could not possibly understand the intricate beauty of our ancient culture. They are far too riddled with their own petty bias. Feodor: Hrrrm. Orriole: I am greatly enamored of the many humans who are my friends, but one cannot expect the appalling majority to understand foreign cultures. The cannot even understand different human cultures, much less one as alien as ours. Feodor: I guess you're right. Orriole: And while I dearly love you as a friend, I harbor no romantic feelings towards you. Feodor: Nor I you. Orriole: So, with the hopes of getting this through to our readers, Feodor is my dearest friend and I will not allow any more such slander! Emiko: ::wryly:: Bravo, bravo! Do you think we're ready to get to some questions now? Orriole: Yes. Emiko: Okay then! First, In your characters section, Em, it says a person's {or elf's or faerie's} blood type. Elves and Faeries have the same blood types as humans do. Does this mean that elves, faeries and humans have some common ancestry, or are they just very biologically similar? {If so, why?} Orriole: That question is very much for you, filia mea! Emiko: Oh, it is! But you'd probably know better than I would. Orriole: Come, now, filia mea. There is no need to discredit yourself. Feodor: Yeah, Em, let's see how much of our elven history lessons you can remember! Emiko: Okay. The reason is because elves are indeed related to humans. They did come from Earth, you know. Feodor: Of course, they didn't know, but they know now! Emiko: Heehee... As far as fairies, go, though, I don't know. Feodor: Fairies are more or less related to elves in a way. Orriole: We are not at liberty to divulge the exact relationship at this time. Emiko: Okay. Let's move along! This next one is mostly directed to Feodor. Aren't elves supposed to be tiny? Or small? How come in TBE they are the same size as humans? Is this normal? I thought elves were short, like dwarves, fairies, and leprechauns.. but with pointy ears. Feodor: Who said we're supposed to be small? Orriole: Traditionally, elves have not been in the realm of human perception for thousands of years, with a few exceptions in areas such as Ireland, so human mythology has not had any accurate observations to base the modern perception of elves are. The mental picture most people have of elves -- the so called "Santa's elves" picture -- seems to stem more from brownies. Brownies are short with pointed ears, but are mostly extinct. Feodor: In short, since no human has seen an elf for a great many years, you guys have nothing to base your ideas on except thin air. Emiko: Third question. Concerning the ear-morph trick: Is this painful in any way, or a natural thing to do? If it is painful, how much, and are you used to it by now? Does hiding your pointy ears take a lot of energy (or magic or power?) possibly leaving you tired? Feodor: Hey, look, a moth just landed on the computer screen! Emiko: Feodor! Pay attention! Feodor: Oh, yes, of course. No, it doesn't hurt or use a lot of magic. Ear morphing is a very small magic trick and it's perfectly natural once you know how to do it. Not all elves can do it, though. It's not tiring at all. Thanks for your concern! Emiko: Oh boy. I know you guys have heard of my great friend Tami, since I talk about her so much... well, here's a question from her. Orriole: No offense, filia mea, but you have very strange friends. Jazriot comes to mind. Emiko: Eh... Here's the question! Feodor, can't you liven up Yuki? I love her, but she's so staid and straightlaced. Get her some leather clothes and manage to get her drunk and at least leave her with ONE tattoo before the night is over and she has to go back to being a prig again. It'll be worth it! You owe her that much! Orriole: See?? It is a conspiracy! Feodor: Careful, Ori, Em's paranoia seems to be rubbing off on you. Tami, I love the idea. I'll see what we can do. Emiko: You realize there no way in Hades I'm going to put that in the actual comic? Orriole: Filia mea, please don't use that word. Feodor: We could make it a sidecomic. Which reminds me, you need to put up the next one of those. Emiko: Duly noted. I'll watch my wording, Ori-pa. Finally for today, Orri and Magnus, will you marry me? I promise that you shall both wear nothing but the skimpiest Gucci loincloths and high-quality collars and do nothing but sit around and be in my harem all day. PLEASE! I NEED YOU TO LIVE! Orriole: Are we still on questions from Tami? Emiko: Yes. Orriole: I thought as much. Feodor: You gonna answer? Orriole: My deepest condolences, but I do not think that would be a possibility. Emiko: Eh, Tams, trust me when I say that I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be a possibility with Magnus, either. Feel free to ask me about that privately at a later time. (i.e. it's treading on absolute top secret plot devices!) Feodor: But if it's an elf you want, I got all the elf you'll ever need right here! Emiko: Dear gods, I think I'm going to be sick... Orriole: ::sigh:: Maaa, Feodor... Emiko: His libido is as big as my ego. Orriole: ::laughs:: Feodor: Hey, now, I hardly think that's fair... Her ego is the size of Russia! Emiko: And so is your libido! So there! Orriole: You are both so very sweet. Emiko: Okay, now he's just weird. Feodor: No kiddin'. Hirschel: Since my darling Em has chosen to sit this round out, I will be moderator. Orriole: Filia mea est; you stay away from her, Hirschel! She's only a child! Hirschel: What, a man cannot dream of just desserts? Feodor: ::snickers:: Orriole: Your sense of humor is as sour as your demeanor. Hirschel: Perhaps we could discuss this later, over dinner? Orriole: Can you not think of something besides food? Hirschel: Can you blame me for being hungry? Feodor: This is like Whose Line, right? Where we have to talk in questions? Orriole: ... Hirschel: Ahem. Question One. This is directed towards the delectable Miss Talia, who is the reason for Em's absence. Talia: Wheee! I once ate at a deli table. It was funny. The seats were made of vines or something, or so Master Feodor told me! I had to stay in his pocket while this woman who was dressed like the vines brought Feodor nose eggs. They tasted good, though! They had a lot of salt and pepper, and the pepper made me sneeze, so Master Feodor had to pretend like he had a cold because the humans could hear me sneezing! Hirschel: ... I see now why you do not travel with her more often, Feodor, and also the reason why my darling Em is not present. Talia, my sweet, I have not yet asked you the question. Talia: Does that mean I'm supposed to get something? Hirschel: Gott... The first question is: Talia, don't you get cold? Can't you raid a Barbie closet or something? Talia: I do not think I get cold. I don't like Barbie. She's very, very scary! Have you ever looked at her close up? Plus, I don't think Master Feodor likes her clothing. Feodor: It depends on the outfit... ::grins:: Orriole: Maa, this is quickly turning into a spectacle worthy only of late-night television... Talia: Clothing is icky, though. I cannot fly in it. Hirschel: The next question is... very interesting. Do Elves have hollow bones or something? Feodor, your weight is just too low considering your height and how stacked you are. ^_~ Feodor: Em made a typo. She'll fix it next time she does profiles. Of course, if she were actually here, I would have been able to make fun of her. I think her absence is due to more than just Talia. But thank you. I am in excellent shape, after all. Orriole: Maa.... ::buries his head in his hands:: I hate my life. Hirschel: I could assist with that, if you like. Orriole: Go away, Hirschel. Hirschel: Not until I have finished being moderator. The next question is for me. Hirschel, Hi! I like vampire fangs... you sound cute.. will you go out with me? Feodor: That wasn't supposed to be an actual question. Hirschel: We must take all matters of the heart seriously, Feodor. That is the area of the best blood. Returning to the question, I would gladly invite you to dinner, Christine. I hope you don't mind red meat and wine. It is very pleasing to know that my fangs are attractive to someone. Most people do not think such a thing. Orriole: I think I'm going to be sick... Hirschel: Well, then, perhaps you would like a treatment of leeches? They taste better once fed. Orriole: Hirschel, NO. Feodor: Lay off Orriole for a bit, Hirsch. Hirschel: That is Hirschel, do not make me remind you again. And finally, the last question from Christine. Hirschel, when do you think you'll make your grand first appearance in the comic? And are you an evil vampiric elf, or a good vampiric elf? Feodor: You get a kick out of talking to yourself, don't you? Hirschel: Only when I am paid for it. I will be appearing directly after issue one, in the Interlude. I do not wish to be labeled as "good" or "evil." They are very confining terms, though neither has an exact definition. Feodor: And, speaking of the Interlude, it's going to be the story about when Hirschel and I first fought. I won. Hirschel lost his eye. Hirschel: ... DIE! ::lunges at Feodor:: Orriole: Maa, filia mea, please return and rescue me... Emiko: Hi guys! Orriole: FILIA MEA! Emiko: Uh, Hirschel, Feodor... Why are you on the floor? Hirschel: No reason, my sweet. Feodor: Hirschel started it. Emiko: Um, okay. Talia's gone? Hirschel: Thankfully, yes. Emiko: And if we're still rolling, that means there must be a question left for me to ask. Hirschel: Indeed. Emiko: Hurrah! What do faeries eat? Do they perhaps sip the dew at dawn, or do they actually eat real food? ... Hirschel... WHY ARE YOU GNAWING ON MY ARM?? Hirschel: It was so beautiful... creamy-looking... Emiko: ORI-PA! Orriole: See? I told you! Hands off! Hirschel: Forgive me, my dear. Emiko: Grr... Someone answer the blasted question so I can leave again. Orriole: Fairies eat. They require a good deal of food in order to sustain their flying and have extremely fast metabolisms. Feodor: I can't think that many are in the habit of drinking dew, though. Emiko: Great! We're done! Hirschel: Can we not just have that one last question? Emiko: No. Hirschel: Do not make me angry, my little dish. Emiko: Er... ::shrinks away:: Okay, but only this once! Could Feodor or Orriole or Hirschel or anyone manage to sneak me into the Elven world so that I could get a faerie too?? Orriole: No. Feodor: I'd be willing to give it a try. Hirschel: What are you willing to give me in return? Emiko: And that concludes round ten of Ask an Elf! Thank every deity I'm still alive to-- HIRSCHEL! Hirschel: Sorry, sorry. You should really wear long sleeves. With such beautiful pale arms, how can you expect me to resist? Emiko: Just find a way! The next time your mouth is on my arm I'll hit you where it hurts! Hirschel: ::recoils in fear:: Not my fangs! |